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explaining to your kids?
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mtnmom
Posted 2004-08-05 12:24 PM (#2786 - in reply to #2343)
Subject: RE: explaining to your kids?


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Location: Divide, Colorado
I haven't been very active and so missed the show, could someone fill me in on that please?

Nikki has started to ask questions, but they're pretty limited. It's like she doesn't want to know and I'm unsure how much to push her on it. Any thoughts?

She doesn't like the thought of this thing being in her back all the time, but loves the fact that she's going to be asleep while it happens!! Isn't that funny? Her "I don't like it but ok Mom" attitude cracks me up.

I hadn't even thought to cover "pokes", but now I have an idea what to tell her, thank you all.
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Carmell
Posted 2004-08-05 12:43 PM (#2790 - in reply to #2786)
Subject: RE: explaining to your kids?



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Location: Utah

Hi Brenna,

I know how anxious you must be, with surgery just a couple of weeks away.  Its very normal to feel worried and to now know how to talk to your child.  My suggestion (and this is just based on our experiences) is to give her opportunities to talk, but don't push her.  Let her ask questions, if she wants, but don't force information on her.  She will obviously need to know the basics - why you are going to the hospital very far away (to have an operation on her back); that she'll be in the hospital for a few days; and that she'll be sore for a while when she does come home.  You could also practice the pre-op kind of things (i.e., listening to her heart, looking in her ears and throat, maybe even a bandaid or something) then let HER be the doctor.  Kids like to be "in charge".

I also know that at PCMC in SLC, they put the child to sleep before ANY IVs are placed.  The anesthesiologist will talk to you before the surgery time, so ask lots of questions.  If you've had good or bad experiences with surgery before, make sure they know.  They should listen to your input.  Dr. Smith and Melissa are GREAT.  If you have any questions, they are always good to answer them.  We *may* be in SLC on the 25th... I wonder if you will be up to visitors by then.  Where will you be staying?  Send me a private message if you would like suggestions or anything - if I can help in any way.

Take care and I'll be thinking of you both!

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Kimm0330
Posted 2004-08-06 10:02 AM (#2808 - in reply to #2343)
Subject: Re: explaining to your kids?



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Location: Elizabethtown, PA
Brenna,
We are very open with Sarah. She knows that when we go to Pittsburgh it is for her "back". We always make sure to have a fun day before she goes in the hospital and we always tell her what she will be in for. However we explain it to her in a way she can try to understand. This last time she did great. She knew why we were there and that her Doctor would make her back feel better and that it would help her grow and be able to play outside more. Sarah is on oxygen so she liked the idea of being able to play outside with out carrying her portable around. Also this last surgery she noticed all the sterry strips on her back and also the dried blood. She was so brave and said now I have "marks" like daddy. My husband just retired from National Guard and has many scars. So now she is happy she looks like daddy.
Our children are wonderful in so many ways and they understand more than we think. Sarah told someone the other day that she was special because she beeps when we go thru metal detectors..........LOL
Many blessings to everyone,
Kim
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stees
Posted 2004-08-06 9:51 PM (#2820 - in reply to #2343)
Subject: Re: explaining to your kids?


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Location: Vancouver, Canada
Kim,
Great story!
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mtnmom
Posted 2004-08-08 3:53 PM (#2841 - in reply to #2343)
Subject: RE: explaining to your kids?


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Location: Divide, Colorado
I'd forgotten that she'll beep at the metal detectors now, that's cute how your daughter takes it all. Nikki reacted so badly to the brace - she was crying constantly, didn't want to walk, play, or any kind of normal activity. It was absolutely psychologically devastating for her. So I guess I'm ultra paranoid about how she'll handle this procedure. She is the happiest kid otherwise w/o a care in the world and she usually handles things so easily. So, I'm gonna appeal to that side of her personality if we run into difficulty. Guess I should prepare her for beeping at the detectors tho!!
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Carmell
Posted 2004-08-08 6:22 PM (#2843 - in reply to #2841)
Subject: RE: explaining to your kids?



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Location: Utah

Brenna,

The only time she'll beep at metal detectors is if she has a type of metal that is NOT titanium.  Braydon's two rods are 100% titanium, so he does NOT set off metal detectors.  If there is any part of the device that is another metal (stainless steel, etc.) then she would set off a metal detector.  It is against the law to have a 100% titanium gun because they do not set of metal detectors.  Titanium is a lightweight metal that is very well tolerated by the body.  In all the times we've traveled with Braydon through airports, I've had my xrays handy, just in case, but we've never needed them - because he has 100% titanium.  Interesting...

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Zoes Nana
Posted 2004-08-08 10:30 PM (#2844 - in reply to #2786)
Subject: RE: explaining to your kids?



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Location: Plymouth, Pennsylvania
Dear Brenna:
Please know that you are in our Thoughts and Prayers...for
how well we all here know what you are going thru....
Zoe was just 2-1/2, four years ago when she had her implants...
so there was not much explaining to her what would be happening...
Looking back, I can see where that really was a God send for us,
around her, who were really so emotionally numb at the time....
But now 13 surguries latter, and the fact that Zoe is now 6, we
tell her everything that she can understand for her age....
She and I, about 3 weeks before surgery start to run thru what she
will have to expect...X-rays, Ct Scans, PFT's, Blood Work, Ect...
And as hard as all these thing seem, it is amazing, how trusting
Zoe is about it all....It is like, "If Mom, Nana, and Pop, tell me
it will be OK, I am OK with it...."
Keep your Faith in God, and Your Doctors, and Also Keep Faith in
Yourself, that you will be strong thru it all....
And like I have told Many Parents, the Day of Surgery, though we cannot
be seen....We will all be in that waiting room with you, Holding your
hand....For we know every emotion you will be going thru....
But the Hope that the "Titanium Ribs" give to our Children,
A Hope that only Titaniun Ribs can offer, is worth it all.....
God Bless You....
Sincerely,
Johanna Lambert

Edited by Zoes Nana 2004-08-08 10:32 PM
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mtnmom
Posted 2004-08-18 11:47 AM (#3001 - in reply to #2343)
Subject: Re: explaining to your kids?


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Location: Divide, Colorado
Interesting about the beeping at the airports, Dr. Smith told us that she probably would set them off..... hmmmmmm

Brenna

P.S. Johanna, thanks for your wonderful post!
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